Come Share a Smile and Pass it On


 

Church Bloopers

1. Potluck supper. Prayer and medication will follow.

2. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

3. Tuesday at 4 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk, come early.

4. Don't let worry kill you. Let our church help.

5. Thursday at 5 p.m. there will be a meeting of the little mothers club, all ladies wishing to be little mothers please meet with the pastor in his study.

6. A bean supper will be held on Saturday evening in the church basement. Music will follow.

7. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

8. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement on friday afternoon.

9. Tonights sermon: "What is Hell?" come early and listen to our choir practice.

10. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Johnson to come forward and lay an egg on the alter.

11. The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

12. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

13. The service will close with "Little Drops Of Water". One of the Ladies will start (quietly) and the rest of the congregation will join in.

14. Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.

15. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

16. The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell on May 10 and 11.

17. Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

18. Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

19. Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.

20. The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

21. Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child.

22. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

23. The associate minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."


Funny Words of Wisdom by Denise Jones

Hilarious Excuse Notes for School