While indulging in the daily cleansing and showering routine, one discovers that the shampoo bottle
cap fits just perfectly in the drain hole of the tub. If the cap falls upside down, one might simply pluck
it from the drain, eliminating the plug effect and solving the problem. However, the water level rises
rather quickly in a small tub with the water at full blast. Here one learns a lesson in hydraulics.
In less than four inches of water, the force holding the cap in place becomes enormous. And, because the cap so perfectly fits the drain, no water escapes.
One shuts off the water. One is naked, but otherwise confident..
One considers. Perhaps a tool of some sort - like a nail file - will help. Leaning precariously out the
shower and around the sliding glass shower door, one spots and seizes the file.
Again, one learns. A nail file is, of course, much too thin and may snap. It does. One thinks again.
Tweezers might be too thick to fit between the edge of the cap and drain, but perhaps one could
grasp the edge of the cap and remove it like an aching tooth.
Again the precarious lean, one tosses both halves of the useless nail file in the lidded trash can beside
the sink and nabs the tweezers from the vanity shelf. The Oil of Olay and a container of dental floss
bounce noisily off the lowered (Thank God!) stool cover. One is still naked, but somewhat
confident.
Life's next lesson is that if one loses one's grip on the cap, it will flip over, leaving a now perfectly fit,
smooth, round, flat, very efficient drain stopper - under four inches of water. And, wind chill is
apparently not only an outdoor phenomenon.
However, if one recites just the right incantation of profanity and gibberish, at just the right volume,
while holding tweezers at just the right angle, the edge of the cap can successfully be bent a millionth
of a millimeter. This allows a tablespoon or so of water to escape down the drain before snapping
back into place.
One contemplates repeating this procedure until the tub is empty, figuring the task
to be near completion sometime after hoarseness sets in from reciting the necessary mantra. It is a
sobering thought, but life is not always easy. One is persistent . . . but not really happy at all.
Eventually the water level has dropped to three and fifteen-sixteenths of an inch. Approximately.
Some water loss may be related to evaporation. One has learned that profanity and gibberish
increase in direct ratio to the number of goose bumps one acquires. One also learns the use of
profanity does not generate warmth when one is naked and angry.
And still the task remains- to remove the cap, which fits the drain perfectly, creating a smooth,
round, flat, very effective drain stopper. While the tweezers did provide a bit assistance in draining
some of the water, it has previously been established they are too thick to fit between the cap lip and
drain wall to simply lift the offender. The 'copius lather' directed by Nexxus has now crusted on
one's head. This is not a good moment in life. But desperation can be the mother of invention.
After several more original incantations (one is later too shamed to recount), one looks about one's
humble 'commode' with eager eyes open to new possibilities.
Ah, hah! One spots that most useful, yet disgusting, of bathroom tools - the plunger. In such a
predicament, one is forced to ignore where it has been and what it has touched. One steps from the
wading pool, mindless of the water trail slopping to the floor, grabs the plunger and returns to the tub
with jaw set in fierce determination.
And now I give you the nugget of wisdom. When used correctly, the bathroom plunger is a highly
proficient tool for the removal of shampoo bottle caps from drains. One down-squish and one
up-tug lifts the offending cap into the clear where it may be snatched. With a whoosh and a gurgle,
the water disappears, and one may finish a shower with a smile - and renewed self-confidence in
humanity's ability to triumph over any obstacle.
As I learn other little known, but extremely useful bits of information, I will pass them along. It's
one's duty.
Life occasionally presents opportunities for growth at the most unexpected times. If civilization is to
prosper, one must share those experiences so that all may benefit. Last week, for example, a chance
incident in a common tub-shower provided learning that may be universally helpful. Here it is:
Get your own Free Home Page